Esmaye.com

February 2008

Brrr... cold again outside, some say it's a "soft" winter, guess I'm a softy too
But there's enough exciting things happening to keep me warm this month! My album is released in a lot of countries worldwide, and it's a great feeling to know my music is "out there". Here's a list of the countries:
Argentina, Chile, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Hungary, Ukraine, Azerbaijan, Armenia, Belarus, Georgia, Kazakhstan (Borat!), Kirgizstan, Moldova, Tadzhikistan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Australia & New Sealand.
Besides releasing we actually sold a few copies as well, seems that our eastern European neighbours really appreciate my music. It's been busy the last few weeks, the final edit from my new video "Secret Garden" is ready and I'm really happy with the result. It"s so different compared to my "Letting Go" video, a lot more personal. Official Release date in Holland: April 14 For those of you who can't wait... let me tell you a little secret:
(there's a sneak preview on youtube..sssssssst)

I also did a quick photo shoot for an Australian online Ugg boots store!
There's a cool page dedicated to my music, a real honour:
http://www.authenticuggboots.com/Esmaye-Singer-Songwriter.html

Well, many things to do and such little time, hope to see you all soon @ a show!

A big warm hug!

Esmaye

September, 2007

Hey,

It's been a while since I've last written in this online diary.. but I've got some good news to share: I went to Chicago last week to shoot the video for my next single.. it was absolutely amazing!
(check out the little sneak preview pic.)

Surrounded by an incredible team of creative souls and beautiful locations we surely brought the music "to live"... can't wait to see the final cut. A big thank you to Chris, Audrey and Yureko @ Stoptime341 and Naomi (hair&make-up) for their hard work, creative input and great personalities. Not completely sure about a release date yet, but I'll be back with an update soon!

This Sunday I'm playing a small acoustic set @ Paard in Den Haag, let me know if you wonna come and enjoy the show!

Love Esmaye

May 7, 2007

It's been a while since the last time I've decided to share my thoughts in this diary.

It's raining today, the first rain in weeks, you can almost feel nature's happiness to get some moist after the sun's intense rays.

I love the rain, it's the perfect reason to stay inside, light a few candles and write whatever's on your mind.

We're now kind of in the middle of deciding what's next, so I can't really reveal any plans yet, I can just say we're working really hard on finding ways to make it happen!

If there's one thing my little music career has taught me it must be patience…..

to trust things to happen simply when it's the right time..

A really positive thing is INVITO supporting me in my little "Meet Esmaye tour" across Holland, you can find information in their stores and on their website and even win tickets to one of my shows. (check my schedule!)

We played in Paard (Den Haag) last Thursday and it felt great, thank you! for all of you who came to see me! (check my gallery for some new pics)

Let's hope we'll get the same warm welcome in the rest of Holland!

Love,

Esmaye

March 28, 2007

Yesterday I went to the beach with a friend and tipped my toes in the sea, brrrrrrr (freezing!!)... At night while trying to sleep I felt a little sand in my bed, it made me smile...SUMMER'S COMING! ( a true optimist?)

Spring is a joyful time, to me it's nature's promise everything will be all right, the first rays and blossoms show this beautiful circle of opening up after winter's dark tuning in.

The fragrance in the air carries memories of other times spend in the sun... mostly good ones guess the weather reflects my own state of mind, especially now things are starting to take off a bit.

...the whole project's definitely in progress!

After my little trip to the TMF studio we've been working hard on finding ways to reach more people and get a little tour started. I can't reveal the wonderful plans just yet, but trust me, they're good! This Saturday we're playing 3 songs live @ Tros Muziekcafe and next week we'll have our second time playing the entire album @ Café Studio in Haarlem, I feel really excited and curious to what it's gonna be like, everyone's invited ofcourse!

From a bright and sunny orange room:

I promise to be back soon!

Love Esmaye

March 3, 2007

A big and warm thank you to everyone who came to see me last Saturday, I felt overwhelmed by the warm embrace of all those smiling faces. a special night, I was truly nervous when we started but the band was so great... after the first two songs I felt save to lean back a little, do my thing and focus entirely on my singing.

This week has been especially hard on my knees, they feel a bit sore after asking everyone for their support to download "Letting Go"... a BIG THANK YOU to all of you who did, and to all of you who didn't: "I know where you live.."he he
I really hope we can make this happen!

Don't forget to watch TMF Reaction next Wednesday!

I'm gonna go and check out the new supermarket around the corner and make myself a good lunch,.'ll be back soon!

Love Esmaye

February 22, 2007

Just a few days and "Letting Go" will be released.. Can't really explain what's going on inside my head right now.

I just came back from a day of rehearsing with my band, this Saturday we'll have our first try-out @ Den Haag.
First time for me to play the songs of my new album, first time to sing in my hometown...
and definitely the first time that I feel so close to myself?br />
I really wonder what that's gonna feel like..

I got a lot of phone calls this week, family, friends, old colleagues, they all promised to be there,thank you for that!

I also got a good phone call about a trip to the TMF studio soon,
I'll tell you more about it next time!

Love Esmaye

Thursday January 25, 2007

Feeling great!
The release dates are set.... seems like the end of "the great postponement" is near:

"Letting Go", (first single of the album) will be released 26th of February and my album
"Elements in Me" March 19.

"Letting Go", for me, slowly became a life-anthem (or self fulfilling prophecy?)
I wrote it December 2003... but for some strange reason the process kept repeating itself (in many different ways)... each experience surely added a whole new dimension to the song, guess it really grew on me.
... let's hope it'll touch others in a similar way.

Exciting times up ahead!

Sitting here behind my computer I feel confident and happy, my music will soon be available
everywhere and personal struggles that took a lot of my energy lately resolved in a beautiful way...teaching me that love has many different faces and can be shared in many different ways, and when pure and from the heart can overcome almost anything!

I'll be back soon with some more good news!!
Don't forget to visit this site the 26th of February and check out my new video!!

Love Esmaye

It's been a long time..

My album is finished, and everything is ready.. the last months I've been busy finding the right musicians for my own live-act, Sven, Michel, Roland and Satin are my new companions on this next adventure: finding a way to create the same balance between electronic and acoustic sounds on stage.

I was a little worried at first cause I've never done anything like this before, but their input creates a whole new dimension and in our first try out we discovered so many ways of approaching the songs while staying loyal to the original vibe, can't wait for our first public try out!

It seems like the final release date is not that far ahead, but everything has been postponed so many times, let's just wait and see...it's out of my hands now, all I can do is make sure I'm ready when it does finally happen.

My first album..: "Elements in me" WOW! such a strange sensation to hold it in my hands, this little box and shiny CD contain so many different aspects and feelings that live inside this crazy head and heart of mine, it's so close to who I am and it makes me proud and scared at the same time. Writing music can be a really fun thing to do, but it can also confront you with certain thoughts and feelings that usually stay hidden... beneath the surface

Guess it's always scary to expose yourself, I really hope I can reach out to people, give a little back of what music's done for me, it's been a real life saver!

On a personal level the last few month's have been a real struggle but looking around I know I'm not the only one.. a comforting thought... it's never bad to question things, even when the road to a possible answer is hard and maybe seems impossible. Just don't forget to keep on smiling, there's a certain humor behind all the misery, just a few days ago I thought maybe that's why Buddha's smiling.

Isn't it easier to stay in the negative and drown yourself in sorrow or anger?

How hard is it to face the negative...and smile?

It's hard..I must admit, but worth the try..

The sky's grey, the summer's slowly transforming into the most dramatic season of the year: Autumn! Just a few weeks and I'll be celebrating my birthday!

(yeah yeah.. slowly becoming an old fart myself)

Oops! It's almost 6, gotta get into my funny costume and play the polite waitress, "beer, anyone?"

Sitting behind my computer in my little orange room I wish you all the best, hope I'll be back soon with some good news about a release party somewhere!

X

Almost there

It's grey outside and so cold (brrrr), seems like the sun forgot about us lately..but it's not getting me down this year...I'm so happy!! Reyn Ouwehand is producing the album and we've been working together the past months and the result is amazing, he's so talented and the songs are beautiful, a nice blend of organic and electronic sounds! (we're almost ready!) It took so long to get to the place where I am right now, but it was all worth it, the time in between gave me a chance to grow as a person and songwriter. So many things have changed the past months, I'm single again and after staying in Amsterdam for a year I'm back in Den Hague, it sure added a whole new dimension to my Letting Go song..it was hard to follow my own advice, but I feel a lot better now then I did before and that's what counts. The next months are going to be exciting and I can't wait for what's next, as soon as the release schedule's final I'll let you know, take care... bye for now!

Hi again

Well, the video is back from L.A and it's a lot better then expected, actually, I never even dreamt of having a video this beautiful, a big THANK YOU to Brain Spitz who made it all possible! (and of course the entire crew who worked their asses off) I'm happy cause this video is a good opportunity to seek support outside of Holland, and it seems like we're getting some. Several countries have shown their interest and we're gonna go all the way to the champagne! (remember Arny?)

I'm playing on my little piano a lot lately, it's funny to see the way you grow constantly and how your music reflects the state inside. From the songs I've wrote I can tell you I'm really happy right now but happiness can be a strange thing... Have you ever had the experience of walking around, and suddenly you're overwhelmed by all the beauty around you? That happened to me a few times this week, one morning I woke up and walked to the bus stop, I closed my eyes and smiled ( all happy and peaceful) then a loud noise almost gave me a heart attack...a big truck stopped and the driver looked at me as if I was stupid (I probably was) ?re you suicidal ?????" shocked by this sudden reality check I tried to smile and ran away... how can you be so happy and almost kill yourself in the process? It's a dangerous thing: WARNING: Happy people walking around!

(Well, probably I'm the only fool walking around like this so it should better say: Watch out for Esmaye)

Happy Easter and all!

Solar-fling

Hi everyone, it's been a while (again)... I've been really busy enjoying myself and meeting lots of new people, they inspired me and gave me much to write about, this week especially was filled with so many colors...like a rainbow it's touching all inside creating the most wonderful and deep thoughts.
One thing that really got to me was one of my dearest friends leaving to Barcelona for 7 months, ..watching her walk true the gate felt so strange, my eyes were filled with tears but at the same time I realized the amount of love I feel for her, and that made me smile! The last few gigs with Tiesto were great, we went to Spain and the night in Barcelona was real nice, loved the crowd and the people, the club in Madrid was massive, one big hall packed with people, they made a stage above the DJ boot and the view was amazing... (while driving the car we saw giant Tiesto billboards next to the highway, that was impressive) again the crowd went mad and we had a good time!

England was nice 2 weeks ago and the last gig in Belgium was quite the trip...the crowd was in for a little party and the floor went down....it collapsed! (try to imagine)

Seems like my little part in the story of Tiesto's "just be" tour is finished, looking back it almost seems unreal but it gave me lots of energy that I can now use for my own project! The second single is almost finished and I've got some great ideas for the video, it'll be a reflection of what's going on inside, the mistakes I've made and the lessons I've learned, my strength and weakness, it's me naked... ha ha, well, symbolic of course! It's about love and letting go, ha ha, funny cause a new love just entered my life shaking grounds, thunder and lightning...like a storm, sometimes beautiful, sometimes frightening.. feel so small at times, a little girl exploring the unknown world of love! I can hear some of you think: Who's the guy??
A unique little soul, bright and fresh, caring and loving...mmmm, let's just enjoy it!

For now again thanks for caring, and I'll write again soon!

Last sunday was (unmistakably) the "day of all days": PINKPOP DAY!! Strange thing is I wasn't that nervous when I woke up, I felt ready and curious to the crowd I was going to face...
When we arrived at the festival we went straight to the backstage area where I found a beautiful dressing "room" awaiting me..yeah yeah, I'm just starting so I still enjoy these things, I sat down and just watched all the people killing time and getting ready for their performance.. The Rasmus were there, really love their songs, the lead singer's kind of short but cute I must say...The Pixies were next to us and a couple of other bands..(sorry, not really into rock-culture) We had a good meal and when I realized it was our turn in a few hours I did feel some butterflies or far relatives flying around inside, this was it, the moment I've been waiting for...

After my usual warming up: la la la la laaaaa, it was time to walk to the stage...well, to the bus that was driving us... We did a quick soundcheck and there were few people standing in front of the stage already...the atmosphere was so powerful, silence before the storm..
I man came up to me and said, "well there's firework everywhere, if you come close just know I'll be watching and I won't burn you alive" (Now I feel save, thank you!) But he, if it's my time, it's my time right!!!

The show started, Mee played her violin and Tiesto entered the stage, the crowd went mad, after 10 minutes it was my turn.. Pinkpop, how are you feeling??? WAAAAAHHHH my god, that was amazing, just the sound so many people can produce, in the second song I waved at the crowd... they all joined me, a sea of arms... following my example, such a deep and true moment, a moment I will never forget,.... I felt so small, a fish in their sea and yet at the same time so powerful...
..when I got off stage I couldn't
wait to get back on again!!
Like a rollercoaster ride: AGAIN AGAIN!

I think I did well, still I do feel there's so much to learn, everytime you perform you learn something about yourself or the crowd... It awakes a hunger to grow and improve...to go higher...

Afterwards it did felt like: what's next???

Tijs looked so happy, he really is the number one DJ for me and I feel so special to be a small part of his show... This is his life and he worked so hard to get there, I don't know what the future has in store for me but I do realize this maybe was my first and last time Pinkpop!!

So sitting here ones again behind my computer I really wonder what's next, I wonder if I can ever achieve the same heights, I do follow my heart and dreams and I know they will lead me to some place beautiful,... it's just that getting there is feeling nicer every day...and I feel as if the amount of happiness I create today will show me a better way tomorrow...

off I go....

Ha! The last few days have been ultra hectic, I'm sitting here and I'm trying to go back to all the special moments...it all started with the Tiesto train tour, we thougt it was smart for me to be there..a train full of press who weren't going anywhere, Marcel arranged a few fotosessions and interviews, they went well,...
after the tour I went to the Hotel and that wasn't a good idea, I tried to sleep but I couldn't...my hands were shaking...
Think I've never been that nervous in my life, I was in desperate need for a drink, so I went down to the Hotel bar and asked the bartender for a wodka lemon, probably his first day cause he never heard of the drink! He gave me a soda glass filled with half wodka, half lemon, FINE BY ME!

It did work a little, when I arrived at the HMH the view from stage was amazing, couldn't stop smiling...
It was great to sing for everyone, and I do feel proud of myself... no one's ever gonna take that night away from me, I enjoyed every second...I do feel lucky for having this chance to live my dream! When I woke up after a few hours of sleep we went straight to London, must say the Hotel was great, all english over the top furniture.. After the soundcheck I ate something in my room and tried to rest a little... that night was amazing, the show went really well and I felt more secure about myself...the show in Manchester felt great too..the crowd went absolutely mad, it gave me such an energy boost!

Sitting here I suddenly realize something:
NEXT STOP PINKPOP!!

Last weekend was quite the trip.... my first performance with Tiesto, when I came home home last night it was as if I woke up from a dream, so many places, images and people passing by, I was really nervous but everone told me I did a good job!! Such a strange experience to observe the world's greatest DJ... ...to see the places and the people, I can tell you it's unique what he has accomplished abroad, they absolutely adore him everywhere, it even came as a small suprise..I never expected such a hype!

First we went to Germany (hamburg) and the day after to Sweden (malmo), unfortunatly my part of the show in Malmo didn't go that well, the sound-engineer suddenly lost his ears and knowledge and wasn't able to produce a proper sound, someone told me I had a 4 seconds delay on my voice...AND I DIDN'T NOTICE! (thanks to the in-ear system) So I kept on singing, dancing and smiling and suddenly I felt a bad vibration, I turned around and Tijs told me (with a subtile hand signal)
to stop singing....
GOODBYE MALMO!!!

Good thing about the club: I left with a suitcase full of candy and
cheese.... (he he, the dutch way)